Knuckle Sandwiches – Part 2

**WARNING - Long Post**

After spending the last two weeks sorting through the 4GB of photos we’ve managed to accumulate I finally got the time to return to the more fun bit of the website stuff – the blogging. While there is always something interesting, funny or just downright confusing to write about here in Beijing, this one is about unfinished business. So welcome to the details on the 2nd half of our trip down to Luoyang and Shaolin (where things actually did get interesting, funny and downright confusing).

Hard Knuckle
After our whirlwind tour of Luoyang’s cultural highlights on the Saturday it was off to Shaolin early on the Sunday morning to check out the birthplace of Shaolin Kungfu. I was very excited about this, having been a fan of their work for a few years and only recently finishing reading “American Shaolin”, and autobiography of an American who spent over a year training with the monks in the temple in the early 80s. He spoke of a less than modern temple and surrounding area, fronted by a strip of the small snack stores you see in China selling the coke and drinks to the tourist masses.

I would be lying though if I said I wasn’t a bit worried that the temple would be awash with all the unwanted trimmings of a cultural institution commercialised to the hilt, making it very hard to see the true meaning of the place beneath all the tacky trinket stalls. It’s only later on that I’ve got an idea about where on the scale it fell (but that is for later).

The sense that the whole Shaolin legend was being milked for all it was worth became apparent as we drove along the main road from Luoyang towards Shaolin. Big metal pictures of monks in various martial arts poses lined the concrete walls of the overpass cutaways, and the level of English on the road signs was higher than usual (which, for the country areas, is saying a lot). Once we turned off the main road we straight away saw signs of make good cultural learnings for great benefit of China, with big kungfu schools lining each side of the main street through town. On the temple side of town were two of the largest schools, one that had 15,000 students and the other that had at least 8,000. There was no stopping at this stage, as we were racing the clock to get to the temple exhibition hall for one of the daily performances that the kungfu students put on for the tourist masses. This show, like the ones that travel around the world (having seen one in Canberra) do not actually include the monks – they only come out for special guests (usually CCP officials).

When the bus pulled up at the carpark we were quickly made aware that the investment by the Government was not just on the promotion, but that a lot of $$ had also gone into fixing up the necessary infrastructure needed to make it a comfortable experience for the tourist. A visitors centre was conveniently located at the front, and the restrooms were clean and not just a hole in the ground (these ones were porcelain coated holes in the ground :-).

Given that we were running a bit late we seemed to hang around the entrance a bit too long while the guide organised the tickets, so by the time we got down to the exhibition hall which was 15min walk away we came up against a wall of spectators when we tried to enter the doors in front of and either side of the stage. It was time to pull out our “blond foreigner child” card again, and lucky for us it paid off again, and we managed to push on through with Madeline in the lead allowing us to get down onto the stairs to the side of the stage. While we were not front-on to the stage and the monks were mainly facing with their backs to us, it was still better than having to bob up to look over other people’s heads.

Students taking a rest at one of the training grounds on our way to the Shaolin Exhibition Hall.

Before the show had started a few of the performers came out on stage with what looked to be one of the monks, and people were jumping up on the stage left right and centre to pose for a photo with them. Amy and I decided that it was a first in best dressed affair, and not seeing any signs banning Laowai (foriegner) I decided to jump up and slot into the side for a photo. It must not have been a regular occurrence, because it seems to draw a bigger reaction from the mainly Chinese crowd with a few of them giving me a clap. It was then back to the stairs for the start of the performance, and by God do these guys know how to perform. The show started out with high leaps and backward and forward summersaults, as well as amazing feats of strength especially in the demonstration of the Iron Kungfu techniques (snapping spears by bending them while the point is pushing into the neck, and having thick poles broken over their forearms). They also got those students who are expert in the various animal styles to come out and demonstrate their wares, and having never seen the Frog Style it was certainly a great sight to see someone hopping around the stage like a giant cane toad on PCP.

Doin' it snake-style.

More than just a flying leap of faith - there is some serious training hours behind all their moves.

What came next was an opportunity that was too good to pass up. On the way to the temple the guide had mentioned the opportunity for audience members to go up on stage and participate in the show, so when they asked for volunteers from the audience I waved my arms around like a madman not thinking that I would be spotted from the very far edge of the viewing area. However, all the Chinese people on our side of the arena also noticed my enthusiasm and increased attention to my cause. It seems that the compare had a sense of humour, as I managed to be the last one selected and as I hopped up on stage it drew a very big response from the crowd who were surprised that a non-Chinese person would volunteer for the ‘job’. The even funnier thing was that I didn’t yet know what the ‘job’ entailed .

Sticks and stones may break by bones, if only I didn't have this really cool iron-arm technique.

As described then by the compare, the job was actually a bit more physical than I was expecting. It was competition format, with each of the 4 volunteers (me and 3 Chinese people) being teamed up randomly with one of the “animal forms” kungfu students. Our job was to follow and repeat the moves put out by our assigned kungfu expert as closely as possible, with a prize going to the person who the audience believed did the best ‘interpretation’ of the form. The winner would be judged by audience cheering, or in my case jeering.

The styles up for offer were the snake, the tiger, the monkey and the frog. In what was probably a lucky move for me I got the monkey, because out of all the styles this was the one that my mate Jonny and I use to joke about back in our Canberra kungfu days (we couldn’t actually do it, but gave ourselves endless amusement doing our own 10sec interpretations). I was the third one to demonstrate my complete lack of skill, and the guy who went just before me put in a very solid effort on the bullfrog style which got the crowd cheering. I on the other hand had them all laughing and although I was too busy trying to concentrate on what my laoshi (teacher) next to me was doing so I could repeat his moves, Amy later admitted to not having too many camera shots of my performance because she spent too much time laughing. I did though get a very solid applause at the end. Mmm, not a response I was looking for and not that promising as far as I could tell.

There was some serious monkeyshines on my part.

He might have 20 years more training on me, but I have 30kg of bodymass on him. Pity the bodyslam is not a valid kungfu move.

The last guy to front up put in what I believed to be the performance of the group, and really had the moves to look convincing. He also managed to get more cheers than laughs, which in my mind made him the clear favourite. When it came to the compare handing it over to the audience for their opinion it was a very close race between me and him by way of decibel level. Just when I thought it would be up for the audience to decide between two, it appeared that I was given the 1st prize (I say appeared, because at that stage all was in Chinese so I just stood there looking like Homer Simpson when he was getting tested by the military scientists – one of those times you fear when everyone else around you knows what is going on, and you have no idea).


Confusion due to language barrier aside, it was a great experience and not only for the free DVD. I also got to take away a CD of the photos of me hamming it up monkey style on the stage. When I returned back to my spot in the audience, I received many encouraging pats on the back and handshakes from those around me (at least that's what Amy tells me - it was a blur of adrenaline and more than a hint of euphoria). And while they were whacking the photos onto the disk and printing/laminating a few of the best ones I also got to sit in a better spot further to the front (unfortunately while Amy and Maddy were still stranded on the stairs).


[AUTHOR'S NOTE: Intermission time, so if you have read down to here without a break then grab a coffee and relax those eyes before continuing. We'll be back in 30sec after this public announcement. 29, 28, 27, ...].


After the excitement of the exhibition we rejoined the group outside and headed for the temple, which was well restored but looked like many of the other temples we have seen on our short time in China (a bit like the church exhaustion we felt when we travelled to Europe).

Inside the Shaolin Temple.

Next on the agenda was the Pagoda Forest, a short walk away. This collection of brick ‘towers’ is the burial ground for the monks, and comprises of both public and private pagodas. Those who have done their time in the temple have the right to have their ashes placed into any pagoda with an open ‘door’ (the public versions). Just across the path though we did notice a particularly modern and less traditional pagaoda, which we found out belonged to an American who paid to have his ashes buried at the temple. While we were unable to verify the story, his ‘headstone’ supposedly comprised of modern symbols representing computers and PDAs - only in (or from) the USA.

Among the burial structures of the Pagoda Forest.

While checking out the old structures we were also on the lookout for the opportunity for Amy to also have her photo taken with a monk. Unfortunately we soon found that while they were happy to be photographed ala natural, they were not happy to pose with or without visitors. Hence Amy missed her chance, but it does give us a reason to head back a 2nd time to capture that elusive photo (YES Please). The photos didn't end though, with Maddy still being as popular as ever with the locals wanting to get a shot with her, and me even getting requests from a couple of Chinese people seeking a photo with the funny laowai who ventured into the usually sacred Chinese enclave of Kungfu, and came away proving (as expected) that white man will always come 2nd best to the Chinese in Kungfu just as we come 2nd in the dancing stakes with the African-Americans.

One of the couples who were keen for a photo with the family of the blonde child and the kungfu wannabe/nevergonnabe.

By this time lunch was well and truely on the cards, which meant it was my first REAL excursion into scary territory. Where I was heading made the Shaolin Temple stage look like a hot tub and JD on a cold night - it was a Vegetarian restaurant. Incorporated into an operating buddist nunnery, it sold all the stuff that tasted and looked like meat but isn't meat. Maddy was none the wiser though and kept asking for more "sausage". To be honest it was OK, but I still think that if God didn't want us to eat animals he wouldn't have invented meat.

Maybe it was the whole eating of the plant-based protein thing or maybe it was just tiredness setting in, but either way by the time we got to the kungfu school I was starting to get over the weekend. It was a flying visit though, and while many of the stiudents were very young they were already developing power in their side kicks that will see the French World Cup soccer coach eyeing them off for the next round of contracts. All this in between doing normal school work and taking a bit of time out to do kids stuff, but with school 6 days a week and many of them using their free periods for extra practice, you can see many will definitely have a future in coaching, as a stuntman or in personal security (which is where many of them end up, although they all hope for Will Lee Wonker's Golden Ticket - a starring role in the Kungfu movie business).

The kungfu school had students of all shapes and sizes.

These kids had the day off, but they were using their free time for a bit of extra kicking practice. This guy already had a killer kick on him, and if I could have just half the skill that he had I'd be happy.

Home time beckoned, so it was back on the bus and a 2hr trip to Zhengzhou airport where we had a very ordinary dinner before jumping on a plane back to Beijing. It was certainly a tiring weekend, but it was defintely a fun one and for the most part very well run and worth the money (except for the last meal, but other people on the group complained enough for everyone so we felt well 'eard on the matter).

All in all I was pleasantly surprised with what I saw at Shaolin in regards to the level of commercialisation - it was actually less than what I expected. While we were hassled in the lunch restauarant carpark by mobile touters wanting to sell us postcards and mini weapons, this was not the case in the temple. Sure there was a whole row of souvenir shops selling everything from t-shirts to weapons, but at least you didn't have to fear the cultural reaper wandering around looking for the people with tourist dollars to spend. In fact, I actually wished it was a little more heavy on the tourist shop content because I found out after leaving the temple that one of the other group members had bought a whole set of Kungfu manuals from a small stall inside the grounds. They were in English, and I was keen to get a set so in the 15min I had left I searched high and low the places outside the gate for them but to no avail. I only managed to track down one of the books, which cost me nearly twice as much as she paid. Unlike the shop across the way where I got two tee's, this keeper knew she had the only copy available and was not budging on the price (the unpleasant effects of supply and demand, and as certain as death and taxes).

'Elegant' Knuckle
After the battle royale at the Kungfu Temple there was one more Guihot showdown to come, with Maddy participating in her first ballet dance competition the weekend after we got back from our adventures down south. It was a team event, which meant she didn't suffer the nerves that usually come when she is in front of an audience of strangers. There were around 4 categories with a few schools competing across all groups. Luckily for Madeline there were only two entrants in the team ballet category, the other being her other school team from the 2nd campus on the outskirts of town.

Maddy put in a great effort, and although the photos can attest to her being somewhat out of step with the rest of her group that didn't seem to worry the judges, who awarded her team 1st place and her first ever dance medal. The kids were very excited, and we couldn't get the medal from off around Madeline's neck for a few days afterwards.

Maddy jumping in her own time. Some people march to the beat of a different drum. Madeline on the other hand marches to a entirely different orchestra.

Maddy with her dance group showing off their medals.

Knuckle Done and Dusted
So that’s all for this post – apologies for making it a long one. The next few weeks are going to be busy, with Madeline's birthday party scheduled for next Sunday and Madeline also looking forward to her BSB Idol performance at school (BSB = British School of Beijing). In addition to this we are also off to Canada on 20th May to catch up with Amy's family (assuming borders aren't closed down around the world because of Bacon Flu). We'll also be using the trip as an oppotunity to buy decent quality shoes and clothes in westerner sizes.