Guihot's in Beijing: The Aussie Invasion

Jesus Christ, where did the 6 weeks go since the last time I posted an update here? Well, most of the time has gone into either hosting or being hosted by others, as we welcomed our first real visitor to China followed by my all-too-short return visit to Australia. And after only a few days back in Beijing with my parents in tow I was off again, returning to Bangkok for my 2nd dose of sin city in a month. And in the week that I have been back Amy and I have been busy booking some trips away to really give Mum and Dad a taste of China outside of the capital. So with only 6 weeks gone by and a lot of things having happened it has been a busy period scheduling everything in.

So, how did the last 45 days really go? We weren't back from our Thai holiday long (only days) before we heralded the arrival of our first official visitor since we moved to Beijing in December – my cousin Dena. Showing a level of culture above that predominant in Gold Coast natives, she is still walking and talking proof that while you can take the Aussie out of Australia, you can’t take Australia out of the Aussie when they are on the world stage.

We were very excited to start with, and even more-so when we found she had gone all the way back to Australia and made a special side-trip to see us after only being back in Sydney for 3hrs. In preparation for her touchdown the 6.30am airport pickup was planned, only to be thwarted by the sudden realisation that a 2nd terminal was used for international departures and arrivals (and that all airport trails did NOT lead to central). Being early in the morning and before any coffee I was a bit slow to cotton on, so by the time I made my way over to the Terminal 2 of the Beijing Capital Airport I found her quietly waiting in what was an otherwise empty terminal. No shit - me turning up and walking in to the terminal pretty much doubled the number of people in there.

While I was hoping to give her a good impression of Beijing from the first day, that fell apart as soon as we stepped outside and was directed to the nearest 'black' cab in the taxi rank (these ones being the not-so-above-board taxi service here). With a quote of 150 yuan off the bat to take us into town for a trip I knew was approximately 65 yuan with the meter running, I knew I was up for a battle. It ended with Dena and I jumping out of the cab and trying the one next to it, but with no other driver willing to take us (can anyone spell 'collusion'?) we ended up heading to the airport express train, but not before getting his drive number for a follow-up letter to the authorities. While I had heard rumours of the local taxi drivers trying to pull stunts like this it was the first time I'd actually experienced it (but not the last time during Dena's visit). Talking with friends later on that day it does though appear we got a better deal than them - they were quoted 300 yuan for the same trip the week before.

I had planned a very busy itinerary for Dena, all with the aim of getting the most out of her 7 days in town (and for the secondary purpose of testing out my tourist guide aspirations). This meant a quick start, kicking off on the afternoon of her arrival with a trip down to the local plaza to get her orientated. With the genetic pre-dispositon to shopping that all women have I felt it necessary to include into Dena's first day a trip to the Yashow Markets. The longer I am here the more I see this place as some form of retail Thunderdome - two men enter with aspirations of a good financial win, and only one man leaves with their pride in tact (assuming the other person has spared no mercy in the bargaining department). Going in, Dena claimed to know how to bargain and haggle - until she saw how much you can knock down the criminal prices with some serious parrying, yelling and fake walk-aways (all the tricks you need in your pocket to draw the variety of typical responses, from fake surrender to all-out hostility and venom spitting). She picked it up quickly, taking no prisoners in future shopping trips and stretching her spending money as far as she could (and even going home with some in the back pocket, with promises to pay it back to her maternal bank manager).

The 2nd day we kicked into the real tourist spots, starting to the Capital Planning Exhibition Centre and then onto Tian'anmen Square for a look at the masses (and I MEAN masses) lining up to see the body of The Chairman himself. After a few photos with the locals, we found the Forbidden City a no-no as the crowds were thicker than a blond with lead poisoning. So instead of rushing through the Palace and skipping half of it to avoid the crowds we decided a walk through Zhongshan Park (the park adjacent to the Palace entrance) a good alternative. Amy, Maddy and I had visited this park in winter, at which time the canals and lakes were all covered with 3 inches of ice and the natural colours restricted to the grey-green of follage left wanting for sunlight. What an amazing difference a few months seemed to make though, as Dena and I found the park in full bloom and the lake and canal getting used by the locals for boating and just lazing around.

While I am not usually a big fan of the Chinese architecture, this particular padoga in Zhongshan Park is one of my favourites. Now wouldn't that make an impressive BBQ gazebo?

The canal running in front of the Forbidden City was busy with families and couples in small electric boats.

The masses of the Forbidden City became our cross to bear, as we experienced the same situation a few days later and attempted to tackle the Summer Palace for the first time. The crowds that were there though, compounded by a stifling hot and polluted day, made made this not such a pleasant trip - although we noted that if the weather gods shined on us, it would be a much better experience. On top of this we experienced a real case of Dejavu on the taxi front, with the local sheisters using fixed prices for all trips from the Summer Palace gate knowing that the other transport options were limited. We took the opportunity to use the local pedi-cab market for the first time, paying two guys what was essentially the same amount to ride us to the nearest subway station. Yeah we paid the same amount of money, but my guy certainly earned his cut dragging my biscuit tin around.

Dena in ZhongshanPark.

After being asked for a few photos (Western Blond and all) Dena wanted her own photo with a little local with character - mission accomplished here.

On the cultural tourist front, I had plans to take Dena out for her obligatory tourist Great Wall visit but the timing of the weekly scheduled culture centre (CCC) trip and work travel by Amy meant that we had to look for a compressed version (which would serve a dual purpose of allowing us to avoid having to wait for people). After a bit of investigation I managed to hook us up with a driver who took us out to the Wall (Mutianyu this time, taking the luge down), and then onto the Ming Tombs as an extension to the day for just a bit more than the CCC price. While I had already visited the Ming Tombs area as part of a bike ride a few months before, this time I was particularly interested in checking out the 'Porne Animals' on the sacred walk, which I had missed previously but had heard offered some great photo opportunities (and no, I'm not talking about the animal photos you see from the Amsterdam red light district). In this case the 'Porne' referred to the sitting position of the statutes, allowing us to hop on the back of a free of them for some happy snaps. 10min later we did come across a little sign about not climbing on the anim.....OH! Look at the butterfly :-).

The Mutianyu section of the Great Wall. My first visit, and definitely not my last.

Definitely my last shot with these two sheisters though.

Reece Guihot, Porne King

Just when Dena thought she was going home with all the official tourist memories of the Middle Kingdom, we managed to give her an unofficial one thanks to getting caught up in a shakedown of one particular supplier by some locals wanting their piece of the profit pie. While the detail is not at all suited to this forum, it did again prove that there is never a dull moment here.

Dena and I with one of the locals at Tian'anmen Square.

The line up to see Mao's body. Still a popular drawcard, even in the afterlife.

It was a lot of fun for the whole family to be able to show a visitor around our new home, and after a very good 8 day stay with us I farewelled Dena at the train station to the airport as I made my way back to start thinking about my own impending trip back to Oz.

In the end I really didn't have too much time to think. Only 1 week and 3 days later I touched down at Kingsford Smith 8 months to the day from when we left Sydney -it was great to be home. Even though the flight had been long (made longer by a dodgy character on the KL-Sydney leg who started hucking goobers into the airsickness bag and making my bag more inviting) I was just happy to be on home soil again and get some decent sleep. With the plane coming in late to KL because of a delayed Beijing departure (runway congestion) it was looking like a day to forget, as I got to think about all the things that pop into the world when one has endless time (food, mountain bikes, the high prevelance of lockjaw still rampant in the world). Luckily the repeated great service at the KL hotel (same place we stayed on our stopover to Europe in 2003) did go some way to lightening the mood, even if I did end up eating dinner at 1.30am in the 24hr hotel bistro.

As the name of the blog is called "Guihot's in Beijing" (as opposed to "Guihot's Back in Oz"), I won't bore you too much with the details of my Aussie exploits other than making the following few points:

Having the folks meet me at the airport at the last minute was better than sliced bread.

It was great to catch up with so many family and friends - a big thanks to those who wined, dined and/or hosted me (Big woots to Moo and the Yub, Al and Kyles, Jock and the Steamboat Queen, Sangeeta & Crew, Shanbags and family).

Thanks to some unamed ACT Govt departments I was unable to catch up with everyone this time around (but will catch you at Xmas when we are back again for a few weeks).
Stromlo MTB trails ROCK

ACT Roads (particularly the licencing section) DOES NOT Rock.

How quickly I forgot how miserable the Canberra weather can be in early September.

Canberra really is a quiet town - please stay that way.

China mountain bikers need to train alot harder for the World Champs (although their 47th and 63rd place out of 75 starters was a good effort).

The Chinese riders stuggled on the mountain slopes of my home town, and they certainly needed some support. And they thought the Beijing Olympics Course was tough.

I managed to get out for some mountain biking myself and enjoy the Aussie bush capital. Al, Lou and I enjoying the trails around Mt Ainslie.

With only two and a bit weeks back in Oz I was really wanting to take a bit of Australia back with me. Luckily I had just the thing - two eating, sleeping eager kinfolk to show around the place in the form of Mum and Dad. They had booked their flights back with me a few months back, and were excited (and a small bit nervous) about coming into a place where Culture Shock really doesn’t work as a description (more like nuclear shock). And given our experiences here over the last 8 months it was understandable. Would they be able to conquer the Beijing Taxi system? Would they master the craziness that is the Beijing traffic, and avoid getting run over by a car, electric bike or pedicab? Would Dad REALLY eat donkey penis if we told him it was water mushroom? Would they ever be the same again after their trip to China? More importantly, would Beijing ever be the same again after their trip to China. For answers to this question and more on Uncle Kenny and Aunty Rob's stay in the Middle Kingdom stay tuned.

On a closing note, because it has been a while since I have posted some of the humerous linguistic undertakings from around the place I have included some new ones below.

Until then, hoo roo!